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Justin Beaver--I mean Bieber
Justin (Gay) Beaver is a 12-year-old (who is in fact a 3 year old in disguise) Canadian rapper who thinks he's so hot and handsome and stunning (which is in fact a TOTAL LIE!) ''when he's just a silly, ugly, babyish gherkin who sucks at his own LIFE. And most importantly, the most famous reason why he sucks big time, It's because he has a silly little squeaky girly voice, even Kirby or Pikachu or Alvin and the Chipmunks sound more manlier than him. But then lets face this piece of information: ..Ok, basicly you're in Your Mom's Car who is driving you to School, and then suddenly you hear The Baby Song on the radio, Then Your Mom cooes "Aw, that little girl has such a lovely singing voice", Then you look all puzzled and then you say "MOM!!!!! thats JUSTIN BIEBER!, ITS A BOY!". Most people think he IS a girl in disguise, but they think they're saying this to have a little joke, and it IS a little joke, A TRUE JOKE! Ancestors, Family and Early Life Before Justin Bieber even came to the world, there used to be a tribe of canadian beavers : The Bieber family. Before this little gay half-beaver half-human became famous, There used to be this guy the Bieber- Beavers used to worship, He was the first Member of the Bieber Family. His name was Sir Jules Bieber, He was a knight (and a beaver) from The Medieval times who worked for the Medieval Caribou King, Aswell as fighting dragons or that cheesy stuff knights did in The Middle Ages, he was aslo known as a "God" because Sir Jules Bieber, stopped the Bieber Beavers from fighting and war in the small swamp town in Canada and restored peace to the Bieber tribe. And then Sir Jules Bieber died of old age, so know theres this fucking graveyard since 1485 (apparently, he isnt wearing any armour,-_-) where the Biebers (even today) go and pray for the fucking knight who did nothing but restore damn peace (I think this is why Justin Bieber is a bit of a handicapt). What happened after the Sir Jules Bieber period? Now Just because Sir Jules Bieber died doesnt mean that the peace was over, Ever since the middle ages The peace was still restored.. So they did the most retarded traditional activities *Singing to all the other Bieber family members or other beavers (maybe thats how Justin Bieber became a singer) *Annoy the '''crap out of people *Making pointless charities (and what I mean by pointless is that they want to get sponsored so they get to annoy the shit out of MORE Canadians *Saying Hi to the Pilgrims who discovered North America and Canada (although they were so fucking ignored because they were so ANN-O-YING! Well done Brittish Pilgrims) Justine Bieber, A New Girl is born (His/Her Early Life) Now we're at the part when Justin Bieber enters the world, whoever said Justin Bieber is a girl, youre right! Before Justin Bieber had a sex-change operation (to turn herself into a boy) Her name was Justine Tiff Drew Bieber, (her REAL surname is unknown, because she was just a lonely little orphan, who always got chased down by Pedobear) Until this 40-year-old couple (beavers) found the little lost human girl, and adopted her, Every single member of the family had to have a name beginning with "J" in memory of The Retarded Sir''' Jules Bieber. (notice the '''J?) Lesbianism and School Now, this is exactly why he changed himself into a boy, Justine (now Justin) never liked boys, she was a little lesbian at her young age thats why he has written songs about girls, he now uses girls to hide his true identity. How young Justine became a lesbian at the age of 8 young Justine went to a human school (because her parents wanted her to know what its like to be a human) so instead of going to a Special School for Fucking-ass Beavers she went to a Human School (which is any old School) She became a lesbian because she got bullied by boys, so she became interested in Girls, But then she got bullied even more for being a Lesbian So she begged for her beaver-parents to go to hospital and get a sex-change operation. But then all the Beavers hated her for being a young little lesbian so her adoptive parents sent her to Hollywood so they can have some peace and quiet "This little girlie is a disgrace to our race! Let her have a sex-change once she gets to Hollywood!" ''- Jalena Bieber (Justin Bieber's aunt who was in fact a beaver) ''"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" - Justin Bieber when she found out nobody liked her DISCOGRAPHY FACT: Because Nobody liked or even LOVED Justin Bieber during his/her childhood, ' '(S)he got the insipiration to write the song: Love Me (because nobody does) From The Beaver's lair to Hollywood When Justin Bieber got to Hollywood he went to Hospital to make her dream come true, (become a boy to act like a hidden lesbian)